Because it is only by following the clear and concise instructions contained in this book that you can realise your childish fantasies of having a Number One hit single in the official U. Top 40 thus guaranteeing you a place forever in the sacred annals of Pop History.
Be ready to dip your hands in the lucky bag of life, gather the storm clouds of fantasy and anoint your own genius.
THE FOREVER ANCIENTS LIBERATION LOOPHOLE KLF PUBLICATIONS, BOX 283, HP22 5BW KLF PUBLICATIONS IS A KLF COMMUNl CATIONS COMPANY KLF COMMUNICATIONS 1988 FIRST PUBUSHED 1988 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.
They continue to view the act’s cheaply recorded, debut blockbuster as striking gold and will spend the next few years pumping fortunes into studio time, video budgets and tour support whilst praying for a repeat of the miracle and the volume album sales that bring in the real money.
Spend the remainder of the morning amassing the rest of the tools you will need for the job in hand. A record player (the crappier the better as long as it actually works). A hard back note book and a fine point, black ball Pentel.
Mass appeal records can always transcend any apparatus they are played on; the exp ensive set up is only for judging coffee table records. Copies of the latest in the series of “Now That’s What I Call Music” and “Hits” LPs. A couple of the most recent dance compilation LPs (“The Techno Sounds of Dagenham Volume Vl”, etc.). All the 7″ singles in your house that ever made the Top 5. Address your envelope to: Sylvia Calver, Morgan Grampian Plc, Royal Sovereign House, 40 Beresford Street, London SE18 6BQ (telephone 01-854-2200) with a cheque or postal order for £15.00. If you do not already have any of the above, or are unable to borrow them, then we are afraid you are going to have to spend some real cash.
THIS BOOK IS SOLD SUBJECT TO THE CONDITION THAT IT SHALL NOT BY WAY OF TRADE OR OTHERWISE BE LENT, RESOLD, HIRED OUT OR OTHERWISE CIRCULATED WITHOUT THE PUBLISHER’S PRIOR CONSENT IN ANY FORM OF BINDING OR COVER OTHER THAN THAT IN WHICH IT l S PUBLISHED AND WITHOUT A SIMILAR CONDITION INCLUDING THIS CONDITION BEING IMPOSED IN THE SUBSEOUENT PUBLISHER. THIS BOOK IS DEDICATED TO THE MEMORY OF DON LUCKNOW.
People in the late eighties can see through the smart graphics.
Sitting around tinkering with the Portastudio or musical gear (either ancient or modern) just complicates and distracts you from the main objective.
Even worse than being a musician is being a musician in a band.
TO RECEIVE THIS GUARANTEE PLEASE WRITE TO KLF PUBLICATIONS, BOX 283, HP21 7HG, U. WITH YOUR NAME, ADDRESS AND A PHOTOCOPY OF YOUR PURCHASE RECEIPT AND AN S. “HOW TO HAVE A NUMBER ONE – THE EASY WAY” Be ready to ride the big dipper of the mixed metaphor.
GUARANTEE – HOW TO OBTAIN IT WE GUARANTEE THAT WE WILL REFUND THE COMPLETE PRICE OF THIS MANUAL IF YOU ARE UNABLE TO ACHIEVE A NUMBER ONE SINGLE IN THE OFFICIAL (GALLUP) U. CHARTS WITHIN THREE MONTHS OF THE PURCHASE OF THIS MANUAL AND ON CONDITION THAT YOU HAVE FULFILLED OUR INSTRUCTIONS TO THE LETTER. WE WOULD LIKE TO THANK MARIE O’FLAHERTY FOR HER DEDICATION AND HARD WORK ABOVE AND BEYOND THE CALL OF DUTY AND WITHOUT WHOM WE WOULD NOT HAVE COMPLETED THIS MANUAL.