Sadly, this is a step up from my last boyfriend who did a total, utter and complete disappearing act after six weeks of what I thought was awesome dating – he called me every day, took me out every weekend and treated me like his girlfriend (until he didn’t). We can quibble with the details, of course, but this is just one anecdote.
Looking back, I don’t think I’ve had one boyfriend actually man up and tell me the relationship was over for him. I can cite my girlfriend from 1996, who dated me for four months, cheated with me over Christmas break, acted atrociously enough for me to break up with her the following month, and then told me she cheated on me in order to punish me.
I think the record so far is the 74-year-old who said he could have his daughter pick him up at the nursing home and bring him into the city if I were willing to meet for coffee. Your last line is telling, though, and hints at the broader trend. Unfortunately, it seems that all the men my age only want much younger women, which leaves me with the 20-somethings who think “MILF” is an appropriate subject line and write messages about being “into older women,” and the aforementioned geriatric (or borderline) set. If everyone is looking downstream, age-wise (except the few who have a “kink” for older types), where does that leave those of us who really are looking for a peer? Should I adjust my objectives to what the market has to offer?
This question is exactly why I’m on a dating hiatus at the moment, since I just can’t bring myself to seek out a much older man, or play the cougar.
"There were no Rape Crisis Centres and I was blaming myself, I just kept thinking it was my fault for getting into his car and trusting him.
"I remember being in Limerick the night before with him for work and then absolutely nothing until I woke up in Dublin the next morning in bed with him, I later realised that he had date-raped me." She decided to quit her job and got a job at a hotel in Donegal, in the meantime she had travelled to Leitrim to stay with her then-boyfriend.
She said: "The rape happened about a fortnight before my sister's wedding and my mother just knew by looking at me that something was wrong and she thought there was a change in my behaviour.
"I knew instinctively something was wrong, I stayed calm and managed to get out of the bed and said I had to go.
"He accepted that and I was terrified he might assault me but I got out of there, I got back to my flat and called in sick to work, after that I just returned to work and didn't speak about it because I felt that was how women were supposed to behave.
Websites generally attempt to pair singles with matches who are demographically similar. We’re all so dazzled by looks and youth that we pass up amazing people who are a much better fit. The woman who graduated high school in the same year as you? “I can’t help what I’m attracted to,” say all of my clients – both male and female. I do know, however, that as long as they close their minds to dating people who are age-appropriate, they’re really going to struggle with online dating.
Most 36-year-old women think you’re a dirty old man. This does not mean that you’re not a great guy with a ton to give and the purest intentions. I know you were looking for advice, Dale, so I don’t want to leave you without it. One, sign up with one of those successful men/younger women sites.