Nietzsche warned that by presenting ourselves in highly curated ways, we risk becoming victims of our own acting skills because we have to our masks in order to sustain the illusions we create. (A study in 2002 found that the few people who reveal their “true” selves online create more enduring friendships.) If lovers were better friends, relationships would be healthier.Great friends support and encourage each other to look beyond themselves, to achieve their goals and to become better people.Another 2010 study found – unsurprisingly – that couples who criticized and yelled at each other early in the marriage had higher divorce rates.Apps discourage friendship more than any other form of courtship because they rush “Yes and No” snap judgments of others with information that’s highly edited.Because users instinctively react to photographs, they’re choosing dates or matches based on sexual attraction and airbrushed beauty.(Studies also show that users will misrepresent themselves on their online profiles.) So sure, there might be an initial physical spark.
Nietzsche suggested that intellectual attraction would provide a deeper and more durable foundation for relationships than sex appeal.
Whatever the lucky number, the reality is that over one-third of marriages do not make it to a 25-year silver anniversary.
And even without the work of social scientists at hand, Nietzsche understood that, in many cases, romantic passion fades.
This ignores the fact that romantic passion dissolves over time. But most arrive at the same conclusion: it doesn’t last forever.
Nietzsche likened it to an engraving that fades when bare fingers continually touch it. A group of Italian scientists found that neuropeptides – molecules associated with the euphoria of love – returned to normal levels within 12 to 24 months of being in a romantic relationship.