Another 2010 study found – unsurprisingly – that couples who criticized and yelled at each other early in the marriage had higher divorce rates.
Apps discourage friendship more than any other form of courtship because they rush “Yes and No” snap judgments of others with information that’s highly edited.
But what might someone from the 19th century think about this unique fusion of technology and romance?
In the late 1800s, German philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche had a lot to say about love.
Presumably, it would either extinguish their attraction, or they’d be better prepared to grow old together.
Sexual attraction is undoubtedly an important part of romance.
On the other hand, in 2009, researchers at Stony Brook University conducted a meta-analysis of 25 studies of romantic lovers who were college age or older.
Nietzsche likened it to an engraving that fades when bare fingers continually touch it. A group of Italian scientists found that neuropeptides – molecules associated with the euphoria of love – returned to normal levels within 12 to 24 months of being in a romantic relationship.
Nietzsche also said that instinctive judgments are misleading because they “pronounce their Yes and No before the understanding can speak.” Furthermore, to act impulsively is decadent and hedonistic, and these are “signposts to nihilism.” So does the rise of online dating in our culture signal an embrace of self-indulgence?
And does it come at the expense of long-term relationships?
But from a Nietzschean perspective, strong-willed people enjoy the intoxication of loving, but have the big picture in mind: they realize the main criterion for choosing a long-term partner ought to be the ability to hold a decent conversation.
Nietzsche suggested that intellectual attraction would provide a deeper and more durable foundation for relationships than sex appeal.