Some readers think my analysis was too transactional—women aren't doing it just to please men—but they agree that the orgasm precedes the act. So when women are surveyed about their last sexual experience, the only women who say they had anal sex are the ones who had orgasms.
"I've had anal sex with multiple girlfriends but I don't think it's ever happened before she has orgasmed first," says one man. Couples who have consensual, playful and open-minded sex lives tend to do things that result in the women in these relationships having orgasms AND to experiment with (and possibly find they enjoy) anal sex.
The self-assurance theory uses the ick factor to explain this.
To overcome the ick and deviance, you have to be the kind of woman who's good at getting satisfaction. Vaginal sex is what every women does, even those who....
So disinterested women dilute the orgasm rate for vaginal but not anal sex.
Women who don't much feel like having anal sex don't do it.In last week's column, based on new survey data, I inferred that female orgasms caused anal sex rather than the other way around.The other acts reported by women who engaged in anal sex—vaginal intercourse, cunnilingus, partnered masturbation—delivered the orgasms.Yup, once my boyfriend started going down on me 3 x/wk among other things, I was like, well... commenter proposes a way to test the hypothesis: "My guess would be that female orgasms are also highly correlated with bondage, role play, more varied sexual positions overall, and whatever other 'kinks' you can think of." Perhaps the next survey will sort this out. Women who orgasm easily are more likely to try anal sex. The idea here is that a woman's relative ease of orgasm (which could be largely anatomical) is a cause, not an effect, of trying new kinks. Short version: "Women comfortable enough to enjoy anal sex are pretty much relaxed enough to orgasm.Orgasmic women are more willing to dabble in unconventional things, including anal sex, because compared with other women, sex is more fun for them, or orgasmic payoff is more likely. They're women who get what they want." Longer version: Women who offer anal sex are typically those most comfortable with themselves, their bodies or with asking for what they want from their partner, and when a woman is comfortable with those things she's more likely to reach orgasm. a guy's not getting back there unless the woman is very comfortable with you being there … The paradox to be explained is why an act widely considered icky or deviant correlates with orgasms.