Some might want you to call daily, some might want once a week. Some might want to schedule a lot of get-togethers outside of actual Alanon meetings, some might only want to do it once a month.I think sometimes the frequency/intensity of things will depend on where you are at--if you are in crisis and need a lot of support versus whether you are kind of cruising and doing more or less alright. She will also serve as a sounding board for your problems and questions as they arise. Well, the quick answer about how to pick a sponsor is to look for someone who "has what you want." Basically, I think that just means find someone who seems to be be at the point in recovery where you wish to be--you look at this person and say, "gosh, I would sure like to be so calm/wise/focused, to have that sense of perspective/humor/whatever." THAT is the person you want for your sponsor. Your sponsor will go thru the 12 steps w/you, helping you to think about what each one means to you and how to apply it in your life.
Usually work on Step One involves doing some reading suggested by your sponsor, maybe doing an "assignment" like thinking about all the things you are powerless over, the ways in which you are powerless over alcohol (and the alcoholic), and the ways in which your life has become unmanageable. Do you meet privately, talk on the phone, or email? I'm reticent to do this with a stranger, but maybe more reticent to do so with an acquaintance!Different sponsors will want different sorts of relationships.So that leaves a bit of a problem to do the 12 steps with a sponsor. I will think about what I think would work for me in a sponsorship, and then ask if that sounds reasonable to you folks. I took one of every booklet they had at our meetings, and that isn't one of them.It's helpful to know that if it isn't working out, you can agree to move on.