A sponsor should not demand that you do exactly as he or she says, but if you routinely ignore suggestions then maybe a different sponsor would be a better fit, or maybe you need to work on your own willingness.
Sponsors shouldn't run your life, but they should be reasonably available by phone or to meet with regularly to talk about the program and to help you figure out what's best for you.
I get up at 4am too, and think I could learn more at meetings, if I could hang around longer, but sleep is really important! I can give a million examples of how powerless I am. I'm having a hard time wrapping my head around what working through a step actually looks like...
What would working through step one actually LOOK like? I find the book "Paths to Recovery" to be GREAT for working thru the steps; each chapter finishes up w/a bunch of questions that help you figure out exactly what each step looks like.
This might post twice because I typed and lost my message.
I ordered both the recommended book and the pamphlet, plus a pamphlet for adult children, for my daughter to read.
It doesn't mean she is perfect or never screws up, but it means that on the whole, she is living a healthy life.
Usually you simply ask someone who "has what you want." It's often suggested that a potential sponsor and sponsee meet for coffee or something to discuss whether they would be a good "fit" to work together. Some sponsors suggest you give them a call every day or so, just to check in and largely to get you used to using the phone when you need help.
She had me call her once a week, but unfortunately, being an older gal, she was not very computer literate and would spend FOREVER telling me about times and places of upcoming open meetings (meetings w/speakers, etc.) that I could find on the Alanon website in seconds myself.
She will also serve as a sounding board for your problems and questions as they arise.
Well, the quick answer about how to pick a sponsor is to look for someone who "has what you want." Basically, I think that just means find someone who seems to be be at the point in recovery where you wish to be--you look at this person and say, "gosh, I would sure like to be so calm/wise/focused, to have that sense of perspective/humor/whatever." THAT is the person you want for your sponsor. Your sponsor will go thru the 12 steps w/you, helping you to think about what each one means to you and how to apply it in your life.
Somehow I like knowing that someone else held that book, feeling what I feel.
Usually work on Step One involves doing some reading suggested by your sponsor, maybe doing an "assignment" like thinking about all the things you are powerless over, the ways in which you are powerless over alcohol (and the alcoholic), and the ways in which your life has become unmanageable.